I’m on what many may call the fast lane. I’m in my mid 30’s, with a whole life and career ahead of me (assuming I live to the ceiling of life expectancy of course), and by all common measures, all is well. But guess what, it’s beginning to worry me. This whole going up the ladder business.
I’m blessed to sit in rooms now that many aspire to. I have had the pleasure of picking the minds of highly successful entrepreneurs, billionaires to say the least. I have been to the homes of wildly successful executives, and I have to say, life after you get to the corner office isn’t too shabby. The glitz and glamour are everything we assume them to be, no question there.
I have also observed, and to some extent, experienced the not so glamorous side of that level of success. I’m talking about the long hours, i’m talking about the burden of responsibility over thousands of people and billions worth of resources. I’m talking about the expectation to ‘look like you have it all together’ for others (read shareholders, regulators, analysts, employees, partners etc), to watch your every step, to account for every hour of your day, to live at the mercy of a calendar, to spend more time in the air and in hotel rooms than in your 12 bedroom mansion, to have a life so complex and busy that you need both business and personal assistants to help you run your life. It’s the life that a successful Blue Chip CEO once said, ‘It’s not a job, it’s a calling’.
And I think I get what he mean’t. Because no multi million shilling salary can make up for the loneliness that comes with being at the top. Another CEO reportedly said that his most favorite time is when he’s on a long flight, because then no one can reach him, and he can take a nap, read a book or just be with his thoughts for hours uninterrupted. The stories are many. The executive who was on business trips when several of his Children were born. The Founder of a successful Tech company who had to retire early because his relationship with his Partner was at risk of falling apart if he continued to dedicate his life to the Company. The successful Mogul who started having a relationship with his daughter when he was in his 50’s and she in her 20’s. The retired Oil executive who wishes she had been there more for her family, and maybe she wouldn’t be divorced, and barely seeing her grand children.
Let me make this clear. I want to be a CEO. I want to run a Blue Chip company. I call myself a 10x Leader, and i believe it is a big part of my purpose to exercise entrepreneurial leadership at the highest level possible. And all evidence points to that destination if I stay true to the professional path that I am on.
In recent times though, I have found myself asking whether i can live that part of my purpose while also living the other, probably more important part of my purpose, which is to be an equally diligent leader for my family and friends. As with most people who have my knack for leadership, people tend to turn to me for guidance on all fronts, from innocuous things like planning a camping trip to bigger things like how my siblings and I create generational wealth. I am blessed with natural leadership abilities.
My pastor says that it is a good thing for me to be asking these questions at this stage of my life. He says that it is God’s way of ensuring I get to live Romans 12, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will“. I am finding myself spending lots of precious hours reflecting on the question of how best I can offer myself as a living sacrifice, committing to the worldly endeavours that give me a platform to touch as many lives as possible, while stay true to my creator’s good, pleasing and perfect will for my life.
I find it hard to believe that God’s will for my life is for me to be an absentee Dad/Son/Brother, or an unavailable spouse, or that ever busy friend who never picks nor returns calls, or a Sunday Christian (when there are so many Church ministries where my abilities and skills could be impactful), all at the altar of a Successful business career. I’m not saying that all who make it to the top have to make all the sacrifices listed above, no, i bet there are top CEOs who have been there for all key moments of their Children’s lives, who have thriving marriages and are active members of their Churches and local communities. I simply haven’t been fortunate enough to meet one.
I do not have the answers yet, but i’m presently in search of a way to live fully, serve fully and give fully how and where God wants me, for his glory. You can bet i’ll keep journaling as I find answers.
